Tag: funny
member name: Dave L.
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December 21, 2009 08:30 PM EST --
* Lerman's Law of Technology: Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money. Corollary: You are never given enough time or money.
* Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your . . .
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December 19, 2009 04:54 PM EST --
In a small town, farmers of the community had gotten together to discuss some important issues. About midway through the meeting, a wife of one of the farmers stood up and spoke her peace.
When she . . .
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December 21, 2009 04:21 PM EST --
- If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
- Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
- Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you . . .
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December 20, 2009 07:13 AM EST --
I bet it was really tough being an Apostle of Jesus. What if you wanted a day off?
You ring up Jesus and say, "Jesus, I'm sick today, running a little fever and feeling congested so I won't be able . . .
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December 19, 2009 11:11 PM EST --
Unable to attend the funeral after his father died, a son who lived far away called his brother and told him, "Do something nice for Dad and send me the bill."
Later, he got a bill for $200.00, which . . .
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April 13, 2009 04:09 PM EDT --
One day, Adam sat outside the Garden of Eden shortly after eating the apple, and wondered about men and women. So looking up to the heavens he said, "Excuse me God, can I ask you a few questions?" . . .
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April 30, 2009 09:13 PM EDT --
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Austin seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of Adam's rib. Later in the . . .
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July 12, 2009 03:19 PM EDT --
Q: What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
A: A Frosted Flake.
My friend sent me this blonde joke, and she is a blonde. TOO FUNNY
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December 15, 2009 09:48 PM EST --
Here's a listing of some recently-published "new books" & their author....
- "How to Write Large Books" by Warren Peace
- "The Lion Attacked" by Claude Yarmoff
- "The Art of Archery" by Beau . . .
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January 30, 2009 04:20 PM EST --
"Room Service? Can you send up a towel?"
"Please wait, someone else is using it.
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February 02, 2009 11:07 AM EST --
A woman went to the doctor's office, where she was seen by a young, new doctor. After about 4 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant. She burst out, screaming as she . . .
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February 03, 2009 10:35 PM EST --
A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?"
Steven raises his hand and says, "He's . . .
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February 04, 2009 04:32 PM EST --
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel . . .
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February 07, 2009 02:59 PM EST --
A new young bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him."
"Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding." . . .
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February 10, 2009 09:46 PM EST --
An overweight clerk consulted the doctor for advice. The doctor advised that the clerk run 10 miles a day for 30 days. This, he promised, would burn off as much as twenty pounds.
The clerk follows . . .
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February 10, 2009 09:50 PM EST --
Caller: Hello, is this the Help Line?
HelpLine: Yes, it is. How may I help you?
Caller: The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed? . . .
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February 10, 2009 09:52 PM EST --
1) Don't buy a computer.
2) If you do buy a computer, don't plug it in.
3) If you do plug it in, sell it and return to step 1
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February 10, 2009 09:57 PM EST --
An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar.
The bartender turns to them, takes one look, and says "What is this - some kind of a joke?"
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February 12, 2009 12:33 PM EST --
A new teacher tries to make use of her psychology courses. The first day of class, she starts by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny . . .
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February 16, 2009 02:59 PM EST --
The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking . . .
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